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My own father (now deceased) could be a very difficult person.He had very poor relational skills, resorted to passive aggressive behaviors, and couldn't communicate his feelings well.

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And depending on the dynamics and interactions of your own extended family, you can have other difficult family members (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents) who are regularly in your life making you miserable.

(I'm going to leave spousal relationships and relationships with your own children for another discussion, as they are your primary family unit and problems here must be handled differently.) So how can you cope with and manage these family members who are so difficult and disruptive?

He was manipulative, self-absorbed, and often inappropriate.

My friend could barely stand to be in his presence.

I mean really, if your own mother doesn't show you love or treats you like a child when you're 45 or tries to sabotage you in some way — how can you not want to fall on the floor in a heap and cry your eyes out?

Or if your father is still disappointed in you because you didn't live up to his expectations or can't show you an ounce of tenderness or never has any time or interest in your life, why wouldn't you want to scream, “I hate you! These are the people who are supposed to love us unconditionally and support us in good times and bad.Sometimes he resorted to anger and stomping around the house in a grown-up version of a toddler tantrum.As a teenager and young adult, I couldn't understand why there was such a disconnect between us and why our relationship was so superficial.And of course, I don't need to tell you that when your family member behaves this way with you, it has very little (or more likely nothing) to do with you personally.It's all about them, who they are, their past experiences, their unmet needs, their inability to communicate in healthy ways, their fears, etc. But if that difficult person is your mother, your father, your sibling, your child, or God forbid, your spouse, it's hard to just remember it's all about them and calmly let it roll of your back.When you have compassion, their difficult behaviors might still annoy or offend you, but they won't cause you as much pain because it redirects your focus from yourself to them.

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