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That being said, I also believe that physical attraction is far deeper and more dynamic, even spiritual, than we tend to think. Real, meaningful, durable attraction is far more than physical.

A man or woman’s physical appearance only plays one role in what makes them attractive or appealing.

Mutual faith in Jesus Christ should be the most arrestingly attractive thing about any potential spouse.

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As godly men and women, we should find godliness incredibly attractive.

In fact, in our eyes and hearts, it should be the most attractive thing about the most attractive people.

In our day, it seems wise, in general, for men and women to date someone to whom they are attracted.

Christian men and women should be cultivating hearts that are more attracted to faith and character than anything else.

Guys have come to me over the years asking about this. If he admires other things about her, I’m all for him her and getting to know her in safe, unambiguous, non-flirtatious ways (probably in groups).

Usually he respects or admires a godly young woman (or, maybe more often, other people in his life think he admire her more), and yet he’s not physically attracted to her. But I believe physical attraction, at least in the vast majority of cases, is one critical piece in discerning whether to date or marry someone.

The world around us will preach that physical beauty is everything, but we know and desire better.

Of all the people in the world, we should be the most free from enslavement to physical appearances and sexual titillation.

After you’ve learned more about them — by asking their friends, or by hearing them talk, or by watching the way they live — you’ll never see them again as just the person you saw at first.

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