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You cannot protect your adult son from all the pain and prejudice in the world.

The other thing you get to do is let go of your dream that your son will be happy in a heterosexual relationship.

That’s not to say he may never settle down with a woman, or that he won’t ever be happy in a relationship, merely that whatever relationship your son is in will never be heterosexual by virtue of the fact that your son is not heterosexual.

I want to say something along the lines of “I do consider myself curvy.

And being curvy and beautiful are not mutually exclusive.” Any suggestions for other ways to frame it so that he gets that it was insulting to correct my own self-description?

In the crazy world in which we live, what can I do to actually be as supportive as I’m pretending to be? Don’t let some of the censure and targeting that may come your son’s way—however well-intentioned you believe yourself to be—start with his mother.

I truly do want him to be happy but I’m not going to lie: I truly wish he were dating a female. A: Societal judgment against gay and bisexual people is very real, and you’re not doing anything wrong by acknowledging its power and worrying about the effect said judgment might have on your son. If you find yourself overwhelmed by doubts and panic, please get yourself to an LGBT-friendly therapist and/or the nearest PFLAG meeting, because you need an outlet or two for those fears, preferably an outlet that you didn’t give birth to.

Luckily, you and the BFF outnumber the roommate; I suggest you do a little research and provide evidence for just how cost-ineffective and unreasonable a setting of 50 degrees is.

(I recommend starting here and here.) If nothing else, you can show her your next energy bill—it’s going to be a big one. Teachable moment in online dating: I’ve exchanged a few messages with this guy on Ok Cupid, and it seemed promising. It was a nice few sentences about shared professional interests, but at the end he tacked on, “Why do you describe yourself as curvy in your profile? My first impulse was to stop responding altogether, but I now think this is a teachable moment.

I have no suggestions for improving the framing of your response, but I do recommend asking yourself how much time you’re willing to spend debating him if he comes back with anything other than, “Thanks, I hadn’t thought about it like that before.” Q.

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