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"But that would be good for the story, wouldn't it? "We get to an abandoned shack (contents: rusted shovel, bare mattress) and Pratt fake-demands nine "ice-cold piss beers." He sings an elaborate mash-up of "Get Ready for This" and the theme music.
At a bar in the French Quarter a few hours from now, I'll find out he probably wrote that song years ago."I've always pretended to improv," he will admit. "Sneaking in a joke like I've stumbled on it, coming up with good comebacks for things that haven't even happened …"The alligator?
There was also Pratt's dad, "lord and master of the domain," who brought the family from the taconite mines of Minnesota to the gold mines of Alaska to Les Ware Backhoe in Washington state, and of whom Pratt's estimation falls somewhere between infallible and false idol.
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Why even bother trying to be the kind of guy she would date? He also decided he would be more like her, that he would study her and learn her sweet patience the way he's learned to be a gentleman from his military friend.
When Faris came over to his apartment, he left porn magazines out. He detailed sexual encounters he had recently had as a single man in Los Angeles. Evidence that Pratt and Faris are "twin souls": They grew up twenty minutes apart in Washington state. (Pratt's from a kitchen accident; Anna's from falling onto a wineglass while shooting ) They also plan a lot of what they say and do in advance."My whole life I've done that.
Your driver misses a turn out here and it's thirty miles before you get a chance to turn around.
Still, the thirty-five-year-old is apologizing as he goes to get dressed in suits that are mostly too small for the action-hero muscles he developed for . I own a family plumbing company.""Great, Chris, perfect.""The lens is a douche magnet. Then he half-puckers his lips and makes perfect "Oh, these eyebrows? Everyone gets on the airboats—ladies first, Pratt insists—and they take off.
I order something with vodka, rhubarb, and heavy cream and, based on its high lactose content and the opium-den-appropriate velvet couch we're sitting on, Pratt decides that the drink is going to be served in a giant breast.
He spends fifteen seconds suckling, grabbing the giant imaginary boob with both hands and going hard with his mouth.
Pratt is trying to distill the good parts of the man he loved so ferociously from the whole messy package, strain out the anger that he also feels sometimes, so that his own two-year-old son, Jack Daniel (the first name after Faris's father, the second after Pratt's), will be appropriately afraid of disappointing him but won't feel the need to get into a fistfight with him over the channel changer.
Pratt says it soothes him to know that he can also mix in the influence of his mother, a thirty-year veteran of the Safeway checkout line and the person who instilled all this confidence in Pratt.
He would do Jim Carrey in and in situations where he wants to project a likable, nonthreatening persona, like talk shows. Maybe the intensity comes from his childhood rivalry with Cully.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating